It’s been quit some time since I wrote something, but fondness has not made the heart grow fonder, you’re all cunts. Taken aghast at my indecorousness? Don’t be. Depending on your standards you’re making yourself a hypocrite. Now rewind, lets do that opening post again.
A body double, for those who don’t know, is an individual who stands in for an actress or actor during a nude scene. It is filmed in such a way as to give the illusion that the star themselves did provide the nudity. Colloquially, it is known amongst the perverted (myself included) as a total buzz kill. Nice boobs or not, it’s just hotter when its a famous celeb. If I just wanted to see nice lady parts I could probably find something more exciting than 30 second movie clips on metacafe for that.
The voyeuristic excitement of our celebrity crazed culture incites in me and others is another issue entirely though. What I’m writing about here is how fricken chicken weird the idea of the body double is. Think about it, you’re not cool with showing your body, but you’re cool with large numbers of people, probably even the majority, thinking they’ve seen you naked? Its not like the trailers say Starring Celebrities X, Y, Z and featuring some hot nobody as celebrity Y’s hairy bush! Sure some people find out its a body double (why oh why must you split asunder my blissful ignorance Celebrity Movie Archive!?) but I imagine most don’t.
Maybe it’s like some sick practical joke to them? They get off on us getting off to thinking we are getting off to them! Or maybe they don’t have a problem with the perception that they are nude they just have some deontological issue with being nude on camera itself? Does Scientology teach nude scenes are wrong? In the spirit of Scientology I’m going to assert its true with no factual evidence. Whatever the root of the Body Double Dilemma it involves me seeing less celebrity boobs and I don’t like it.
With a renewed interest in changing one our countries national symbols Canada’s beaver is fully exposed. Exposed to criticism. Criticisms that we should adopt a symbol less concerned with finding hard wood. Criticisms that our beaver is too passive. Criticisms that beavers just don’t have balls. People say our beaver just plain stinks.
I for one stand by our wet and furry beaver. I stand tall and erect for Canada’s glorious beaver. I’m prepared to protect Canada’s beaver from any penetrating attacks and here is why. The beaver is elusive! The beaver is warm and comforting! The beaver has a pillowy soft and majestic coat of fur! And the beaver often forgoes its own pleasure for the pleasure of others! If that’s not Canadian I don’t know what is! Canada’s beaver is one of the tightest national symbols around. So I for one fully support diving head first in to the beaver. After all, in Canada we are all of us, just a bunch of beavers.
There are many sentences I hear often and absolutely loathe. Some examples are “I just like you as a friend.” Or, “Val Kilmer was a good Batman.” And even, “I don’t even like you as a friend!” But the worst of them all has to be, “Well, that’s just your opinion.” and its sister variants such as ”I have a right to my opinion.” Wanna say it is just my opinion? Well, guess what champ? That is completely irrelevant.
There is a reason such statments were mocked in my Logic 101 class. Basically, it is a way of saying nothing or at least nothing relevant. You might as respond to challenges to your opinions by stating the legal nature of Section 2(b) or The Charter of Rights and Freedoms (I’m Canadian!). Allow me to illustrate:
“Hey, I think your wrong about tax policy, we should shift corporate income tax towards personal income tax because it encourages more investment and makes tax evasion more difficult.”
“I have a right to express my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The moral of the story? You’re not saying anything of relevance. Just because you have the right to an opinion does not mean yours is right. Surprisingly enough, the legal framework of our society does not alter the universe on a meta-physical level rendering truth impossible. You know what else? Go figure. Basically the “just your opinion” phrases amount to nothing more than a lame defence mechanism. Sometimes its because people don’t want to admit their wrong, or sometimes they don’t know how to actually defend their positions. What it all amounts to is using free speech to offer a sloppy psudo-subjectivist defence. That is where it really gets frustrating.
Oscar Wilde once famously said, “Please don’t sentence me to hard labour for sucking cock you puritan assholes!” He also once said, “Morality is the attitude people take towards those they personally dislike.” That is, more or less, what you see going on here. None of these people are actually hard-line subjectivists who feel all opinions on the nature things are unassailable and there is no truth. They simply want to adopt that standard to protect their own interests when they can’t, or don’t feel like, arguing their points. An epistemology of
convenience. I suppose as a man straddling the line between ethical and psychological egoist (just about the only thing available for me to straddle that doesn’t charge) I can respect that in a way, or at least I could if the people doing it did so with full awareness of their own hypocrisy. I guess we’re all rationalists until we start to loose a debate.
So where does the irony come from this? Well, since I’ve mostly been bitching about misused FoS to fill space and satisfy my angry boner it is time to move on to what freedom of speech was actually intended for because that is where the irony lies. Free speech’s chief purpose, at least according to some of the most influential writers on the topic, was to insure ideas were never unjustly dismissed. History is full of examples of ideas once thought, well, retarded that turned out to be pretty fucking true. It would be cliché to mention Galileo as an example…
So it is on these grounds, that we are not infallible and that we should give new ideas a chance, do we find our justification for free speech. In a way it creates an almost “survival of the fittest” for ideas. It removes some of the chief barrier to progress of thought and belief. In reality, it doesn’t always work so well, but on the whole it is a good idea. John Stuart Mill in particular offered 3 solid main points on this issue.
1) We are not infallible so any idea, however unlikely, may be true and thus we must entertain the possibility it could be real.
2) That very rarely do our opinions contain the whole truth, and the places where we ere could be fixed and improved by understanding the opposing side of the issue, even with the best of our opinions, as it likely contains the portions we are missing.
3) (And this is the ironic one) That it is important not just to have the correct opinion, but also the correct reasoning behind it. If we let our opinions decay in to dogma we loose part of our ability to implement them properly. Their value to us is diluted or worst if becomes worse than if we did not believe them at all. Thus by allowing opposing opinions to exist we must be constantly vigilant in understanding the virtues of our own so they won’t decay in to mere dogma.
So, one of the reasons for free speech? To prevent truth from becoming mere dogma and potentially loose its pragmatic value. What has happened? We don’t properly consider the reasons for free speech and have, in some ways, let free speech become mere dogma. The result? We misuse free speech, and thus it has befallen to a fate it was supposed to guard other ideas against. Isn’t it ironic.
*Irony side note: Oscar Wilde also once said, “Quotation is a suitable substitute for wit.”
“When it comes to electing women, the NDP doesn’t just talk, it acts. It was the first federal party to elect a female leader, Audrey McLaughlin, and has policies committed to having 50% female candidates in winnable ridings and giving women support to help them win nominations and elections.”
-NDP Website
What a great policy! For a democracy to be truly representative we must make sure all groups are properly represented. And that’s where the NDP don’t go far enough! What about blacks, or natives, or gays, or hey, what about the most socially maligned group of all: gleeks. Come to think about it, we are aiming for more accurate representation we should make sure we have candidates proportional to the number of black gay women. But oh! Not all black gay women are the same! Some love the underrated sci-fi hit Farscape and some don’t! So we should have some forced candidate ratio for black gay women who do AND do not love Farscape. And let’s not forget the ones who are neutral to Farscape and those who just kind of like it. And hey, lets not put all those people in to just one group. Some like to jog and some don’t. Some are libertarians and some are not. Some think Mortal Combat is the best game ever, while some disagree and think Mortal Combat is a very good game but Donkey Kong is the best game ever. Some can drive, and some can not. Some have living grandparents! The list goes on! And not just on how to divide up the different types of gay black women, but on how to divide up all Canadians. Once you’re done, hmm let me do the math real quick here… carry the 1…. divide by this… ahh there we go. The number is 34590986. Hey isn’t that the population of Canada? To be a truly democratic society we must embrace direct representation once more. Follow me my fellow Canadians, to Ottawa! It’ll be a little cramped in the House, but hopefully that will mean I get someone’s boob brushed against me so it will all be worth it.
Gardens! Gardens! So fuckin’ tight
I long for you all day; all night
A pounding head will be the implication
of my inevitibal intoxication
Anebriation! Celebration!
I’ll rant about Harper
ruining our Nation
A bag of weed in my shoe
security has no frickin’ clue
I’d like to make out with a hot jew
I’ll settle for talking with you
40 Dollars from the ATM
this all I will spend
then my night will end
My alchol consumption grows
my lack of of inhibition shows
I dance, dance, dance to the music
like on of those music video Hoes
40 more dollars from the ATM
that is all I will spend
after THAT my night will end
Now its time for the Bus
That’s right gus!
Now for the real kicks
Dinner at rick’s.
Of late I’ve been pretty hard on the feminist movement. Not that I don’t support gender equality, I’m just not a fan of empty headed ideology inclined to use academic jargon rooted in circular logic. But those feminists who oppose prostitution deserve some real props; they are putting their money where their mouth is.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “But Keegan, prostitution seems like such a good thing on paper!” On paper I agree. After all, jobs without educational requirements that a person can earn a decent living off of are few and far between, especially ones that do not require back-breaking labour. And hey, most of us fuck for fun anyways right? And as any intelligent person knows all that moral postulating on the subject has its roots in outdated and unsubstantiated ascetic thinking found in the monotheistic religions that continue to influence western thought. No one would be so absurd to assert that actions have an intrinsic moral value without being able to demonstrate it right? So what is wrong with prostitution?
Well, most people don’t know that prostitution has a dark side. No, I’m not talking about the rape, drugs and murder that most research shows only exist because of faulty laws surrounding prostitution. I’m talking about the gender inequality in the industry. Did you know it is much easier to be a prostitute as a woman? Despicable! What kind of job discriminates against one sex just because circumstances outside of discrimination make it easier, on average, for them to work in the industry!? Okay, well there is construction work. But we need construction, sex with whores is just fun. And as feminism has taught us time and time again we don’t need fun.
The feminists that oppose prostitution are clearly doing so because of this gender inequality. Why else would they? They are taking a stand not just for women who are being discriminated against but men as well now. That is a true testament to their commitment to gender equality. So let’s join them in the fight against the world’s oldest profession. Let us whore ourselves out to this cause. The fight against prostitution is a fight for gender equality. It is a call to arms against the discrimination towards men!
See the hilarious new meme that is taking the alien internet by storm. Lolhumanz. Let’s all laugh at the absurd and silly things those crazy humans do.
It is 11 and I wake up in the manner to which I’ve grown accustomed, the blaring title menu music of my X-men DVDs. But not all is bad, I have a pleasant surprise next to me on the other side of the bed. I roll over and see something delicious: the piece of pizza I fell asleep halfway through eating last night. Side note ladies, if your looking for a man I’m the kind of guy who wouldn’t even yell at you if you ate the rest of my bedtime pizza if I’d already passed out. Think about it ;) Anyways, as I hop out of bed I realize I have a bit of a protruding situation on my hands, or at least soon to be, if you catch my drift. My censors won’t let me say what it is specifically but lets just say: grieving the death of a tree. Think about it, eventually it’ll make sense.
The throbbing orgasmic excitement of the election may be over, but there was still a little post election ejaculate to shake out of the collective Canadian political penis: senate appointments and the forming of the cabinet. So what did our fiscally prudent, senate condemning Conservative government give us? Well, they formed the (tied for) largest cabinet in Canadian history and appointed 3 new senators, all whom failed to win seats in the lower house when they ran this election and two of whom had stepped down from the senate to do so.
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